ICNB4: Battle Asparagus

Tonight's battle, asparagus, was truly a feast. On account of our supermarket challenge, when the secret ingredient was revealed, it was virtually the only bit of produce in the apartment. Though it seemed like a big challenge to cook without so much as one onion or more than a quarter of a lemon, the ingredient pulled through. How much Frencher can you get than asparagus, and, seriously, how many ingredients do you need for French food? If you've got French food in mind, all you need is a ton of garlic, some butter, and eggs. with these, the possibilities are pretty much endless in French cuisine. I set to work on an appetizer of asparagus spears bound with fried eggs and topped with garlicky hollandaise, a cream of asparagus and green bean soup, and a pasta dish with asparagus in a garlic/white wine sauce. A very light menu, and pretty easy. We leisurely cooked through our hour and a half time limit with very little rush, and, despite an unfortunate blender gasket incident ending in a river of asparagus soup and severe miscommunication about who was supposed to salt what and how much salt that should have entailed, the meal turned out remarkably delicious, and really demonstrated the French paradox: The food coma that set in after the first course really prevented us from consuming any sizable portion of the butter-laden fare.



Blanch Asparagus. Gently saute three spears. When they start to blister a tiny bit, crack an egg over them. Sprinkle with Parmesan and pepper, and fry until whites are set.
For the garlic Hollandaise, mash some garlic and salt (non-iodized, please) in a mortar, and place is a bowl with two egg yolks, 1 tbsp of water and 1 tbsp of lemon juice. whisk over hot water until creamy and bright yellow. Remove from heat and add four oz of butter, 1/2 oz at a time, until sauce is a creamy, coating consistency.



Saute asparagus and garlic in a little butter. Add asparagus blanching water and vegetable stock. bring to a simmer and hold for a few minutes. Blend with a can of green beans, some basil leaves, and more butter. Return to pan and stir in 1 cup of instant milk powder. Simmer. Season and thicken with an egg.




blanch asparagus tips and slices. boil pasta. Saute asparagus and garlic slices in butter with salt, pepper, and chili flake. Deglaze with white wine and lemon juice. stir in pasta and basil chiffonade. Serve with Parmesan.


Dissolve into an oh-so-French food coma, and indulge in existential literature.